Think like a Monk.
Think like a Monk.
If you want a new idea, read an old
book!
How do gamma waves usher?
Excitement of the birthday party in childhood.
Excitement in the first half of the work, thinking about the well-planned
evening celebration party with close friends. Pleasure when a bank credit sms of high amount pops up. May be something like Kumar Sanu
said, “Dil ka aalam, mai kya batau tumhe…” are few instances that allow the waves to enter. To have high frequency gamma waves,
we need activities lined up ahead that look very exciting. If the day ahead is
planned (or dreamt in excitement) for at least two to three activities that
will consume next couple of hours it’s a Mock-Monk drill.
Working from
outside in is the natural way of decluttering. Once we recognize and begin to
neutralize the negatives, we become better able to see our own negative
tendencies and begin to reverse them. Sometimes we deny responsibility for
negativity that we ourselves put out in the world, but negativity doesn’t
always come from people around us and is not always spoken aloud. Envy,
complaint, anger competition etc. are equally big factors.
In a discussion or a debate we often end up taking one
side for no good reason. Why should we wish for one particular political party
to look better? Why should we be unhappy if our favorite cricketer doesn’t play
well? Instead become an objective
observer. We approach a conflict with negativity. Immediately take a step back
to remove our self from the emotional charge at that moment. There is no
commandment that says that we have to be upset by the way the other people
treat us. Instead of reacting compulsively and retaliating we could enjoy our
freedom as human beings and refuse to be upset. The 25/75 principle says that for
every negative person in your life have three positive friend around.
Charles Horton (1902) says - I am not
what I think I am, and I am not what you think I am. I am what I want you to think
I am. Here we need to truly and purposefully decide the set of values important
to us and avoid the values that people get impressed with. With a yearly
objective ahead we automatically end up filtering necessary and unnecessary
activities for the year. The objective to live with excitement can be
professional or/and personal.
Negativity:
Jay says, “Petty, negative thoughts and words are like mosquitoes: Even the smallest ones can rob us of our peace.” In case of negativity hanging over the brain for long time, use the Mantra:
SPOT – STOP –SWAP.
Spot the negative feeling. Stop understanding what it is. Swap in a way of processing the feeling. To Spot is to increase the awareness and it goes unnoticed and we don’t realize the impact of negativity. To stop is get the self-control by working on breath and mind coordination. Then remind ourselves to speak only what is true beneficial, non-hurtful and timely. Happy people do complain but they do so mindfully, venting out thoughtlessly increases frustrations. Simply try to be specific.
Anger:
Anger arises when we are hurt. It’s a punishment we give to us for the fault of others. When we squeeze an orange
juice, we get an orange juice. When we squeeze someone full of pain, pain comes
out. So instead of absorbing it or giving it back, if we forgive, we will
diffuse the pain. To diffuse the pain visualize yourself in the other person’s
shoes.
Fear:
In fear, prayers happen well, decisions
don’t. A calm mind active in present is conscious and a only a conscious mind
is efficient. To use the calm minds productivity learn to rephrase the
situation in hand. Get intimate with fear and then detach. We suffer more in
our imagination than reality.
The
problem with fear is that it spoils the stability of our mind and the decision
making goes haywire. Remember Pain is inevitable but sufferings are optional.
Also fear makes us fiction writers.
What
wrong the fear or stress does to us is that it creates difficulty in classifying a
problem in hand. We need psychological audits as corrective measures.
Acknowledge it –Rate it on a scale of 0 to 10 – Makes us more practical and keeps the emotions away for a while. Find fear patterns – Get close to fear thoughts. Fear comes from attachment, from something impermanent so the solution is to detach from that that though or thing. Impermanence causes fear and detachment gives solution.
Observe and sort: At the end of the day
spend some time documenting how the day went. What emotions you were feeling.
Try to find out a space in day time that makes the day more meaningful and not
just occupied. Two biggest happenings and the two worst. Make a list of time
spent around that day and the utility effect of that day.
Group thinking sheds individual responsibilities
A prof in a college lecture drew three lines A,B and C of different sizes on the board and then drew a line D at some distance and she asked the students in groups to compare the D line's size with one out of A, B and C. Within the group of students there were actors assumed to be studs. The other students agreed to the answers of the studs without realizing that these scholars were giving intentional wrong answers in between. Group think is the practice of thinking of decision making in a way that discourages individual responsibility. So in group activities ask questions to the so called leaders of the group.
Forgiveness:
Without forgives trillions of cells
inside our body are involved in action. Forgiveness immediately substitutes the ego
with positive feelings and allows us to focus on more purposeful works. It brings peace of mind by conserving energy.
Zero Forgiveness - Conditional Forgiveness
– Transformational Forgiveness –Unconditional Forgiveness
In an experiment in Arizona dessert
scientists built ‘Biosphere-2’ a huge steel and glass enclosure filled with air
that had been purified, nutrient rich soil and lots of natural light. It was
meant to provide ideal living conditions for the flora and fauna within. While
it was successful in some way it wasn’t in some other way. Why?
Over and over when the trees inside the
Biosphere grew over a certain height they would fall after that. The conclusion
was that the wind that was necessary to give the trees much needed pain to make
them grow at the later stage was missing. In the natural environment the trees
are buffed by the wind. The wind pressure in initial days was essential for
stability later on. So avoid spoon feeding a person who is struggling to learn.
Continuous process of Growth: The moment
you feel like you have arrived; actually you are starting the journey again.
The paradox is true for many things. If you feel safe, that’s when you are the
most vulnerable. If you feel infallible that’s when you are the weakest.
Believe the people who search for the truth and doubt those who have already
found it!
Money is not highly important is proven by an answer to the question that if everybody in this world is equally rich will all be happy?
In a poem by Kabir, a 15th
century Indian mystic and poet a musk deer picks up irresistible scent in the
forest and chases it, searching for the scent, not realizing that the scent
comes from its own pores. It spends whole life wandering fruitlessly. In the
same way we search for happiness, finding it elusive, when it can be found
within us.
A scorpion was found struggling in
shallow water body. A monk picked it up and kept it on the stone. The scorpion immediately bit the monk and jumped in water. The monk again picked him up and
the scorpion again bit the monk and jumped into the water. An observer started laughing at the
monk. The monk said the scorpion did his Dharma I followed my Dharma.
Bhagvad Gita says it’s better to do ones’ own dharma imperfectly instead of doing some others’ perfectly. Steve Jobs in 2005 Harvard commencement address said that your time is limited, don’t waste it in living someone else’ life.
In his biography Andre Agassi dropped a
bombshell on the world. The former world no.1, eight grand slams champ actually
didn’t like tennis. Aggasi was pushed into tennis by his father and though he
was adept at tennis he hated playing it.
It wasn’t his Dharma. His Dharma was in social service. He runs a K-12
college preparatory school for at-risk youth. Instead of serving aces he is now serving others!
Ego is a mask: Insecurities make us want to convince our self and everyone else that we’re special. So we contrive a dishonest version of ourselves in order to appear more knowledgeable, more accomplished more confident. We present this inflated self to others. And we do everything we can, to protect it, the self we want other to perceive.
Transforming Ego: Instead of concentrating on wining the debate concentrate on the progress of the discussion in the right direction or not.
Judgement: Even without segregating, outwardly ranking ourselves, or excluding others we attempt to elevate ourselves by judging others including our colleagues, friends and family members. Take time before labelling people. No point in finding flaws in others.
Four
monks story of judgement:
Three monks decide to mediate together
in complete silence for seven days and nights. First day goes well and after
that one monk grows impatient because the monk whose job it was to light the
lamps was still sitting motionless. So this monk breaks the silence saying:
Friend light the lamp”. The second monk turns to him and says you broke the
silence. The third monk jumps and exclaims, “Fools! Now you’ve both broken the silence.
The fourth monk hits at this companions a proud smile and says, “Well, well,
well, looks like I am the only one who has remained silent.”
There is a nature of judgement. It
almost always backfires on us in a way or the other. In an act of criticizing
others for failing to live up to higher standards, we ourselves are failing to
live to the highest standards.
In an experiment one group was asked to
record things for which they were grateful and the other group was asked to
record the times they were hassled or irritated. The gratitude group reported
low stress levels at the end of the day. When we feel grateful our mind
releases dopamine which makes us want to feel that way again.
Brian Acton exemplifies this conscious
practice of gratitude. After working at Yahoo for eleven years he applied for a
job at Twitter, but even though he was good at the job he was rejected. When he
received the news, He wrote on Twitter,” Got rejected by Twitter but that’s OK!
It would have been a long travel!” Soon he applied to Facebook and got rejected
here as well. He wrote on FB wall, “It was a great opportunity to connect with
some fantastic people. After these setbacks he spent time working and making
notes on his personal app called WhatsApp. Five years later FB bought WA that
Brian Acton co-founded for $19mn. The jobs that companies would have paid Acton
would have paid less than he made off though WA.
Don’t judge a moment fast. Be grateful.
Trust increases the capability simply because we are hardwired to connect with others. The tasks look less daunting with trustworthy people around. Moreover we are more authentic because lack of putting on airs and being honest with ourselves and with others is one of the most freeing, profound experiences we will ever know. There is a more positive view of the world.
Make fulfilling promises. Never miss chances to build Trust. Being with the friend in difficult situations. Helping out monetarily. Give sincere compliments to those you care about and you want them to trust you. Standing by them in their bad patches.m
Love follows trust as it is a cycle. Whatever love you give, you will always get it back. Just remember it won’t necessarily comeback from the same person. So the problem is in expectations.
Physical attraction : Looks, Style
Material : Accomplishments, Power
Intellectual : You like how they think
Emotional. : You connect well, they
understand your feeling.
Spiritual.
goals and values.
Points 4 and 5 are for saints and monks.
So let me keep some or the other motivation as a purpose to get the constant supply of gamma waves through excitements and fulfillments.
Disclaimer:
The above written article is just an attempt to preserve the points that I liked from the book, " Thinking like a Monk" by Jay shetty. In the process of making this summary I have added my own thoughts, experience and fondness to land on a point.
Vinay Wagh
Bulls Eye, Nasik
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