Spite - The upside of our dark side.

 

 Spite by Simon Mc Carthy Jones - The upside of our dark side.

 There are four basic ways to interact with others.

We act to benefit others but not ourselves – That’s Co-operation. We act to benefit ourselves but not others– That’s Selfishness. Third act involves cost to us, but benefits to others – That’s Altruism. Fourth act involves harm to others at the cost of harm to us – Spite. So Spiteful act is one where we harm our self just to harm others.

Why are we Spiteful? – The common reasons are insecurity, jealousy, Hatred etc. God has instilled this behavior and is in practice since inception. For eg. A baby cries not necessarily for reasons like hunger or discomfort. It cries at times to seek attention. So the trouble the baby gives itself in the process of crying, simply for the attention is an act of Spite.

Spite permeates our everyday experience.

·After a quarrel with parents, when Mom warns me to  go out in a proper way, I’d purposely go out looking  messy, even if it embarrassed me in front of my  friends.

·While driving on highways we often put ourselves in  risk just to tease the other driver on the same road.

·We take our time to check out, just to delay the person  behind us.

·We park our car outside our premises, when we can  park it inside just to ensure that the neighbor doesn’t  park it there.

 Ultimatum Game: Say you are invited to play a game against a stranger. This online game will get over in 5mins no matter how you play. Whosoever wins will get $100. For some reason your opponent is offered the entire $100 even before the game began and he is asked to share the money with you, the way he wanted. The opponent offers $20 to you, which means he will retain the reaming $80. If you decline the $ 20 offer, then the $100 will go back to the organizer with both of you getting zero amount. What will you do?

One way of thinking is “ $20 is better than nothing, so take it.” The other way is, “Why should I take $60 less than the stranger, just because he got the money in his hand? Let me teach him a lesson.” You reject the offer, because his notional loss is bigger.

Economists viewed the player as homo economicus, who would act to maximize its pay-off. What if the remaining amount of  $ 80 was given to charity? Would we have same reactions?

 You are more Spiteful when drunk: The research went ahead and proved a point that drunk people rejected more low offers in this ultimatum game than the sober people simply because the brain gets taken off and releases the spite within. So whenever we are in an off mood, angry disappointed, fatigued, drunk the brain gets lesser blood supply compared to a normal state. Here the spite erupts intensely. In an experiment a group with worn-out self-control rejected 64% of the `200 offer in the ultimatum game. Sapping self-control makes us more spiteful.

If spite is automatic and effortless what’s a good way to control it? The most natural way is to take a dose of time. Let some other thought run for 5 mins and get back to the previous reaction. It reduces from 70% intensity of spite to 20%

 The economist Ernst Fehr argues that even fair-minded people reject low offers in the Ultimatum game because they are prepared to pay to punish someone who has violated a fair community code. By doing this they are acting more fairly.

In another game with a stranger, the organizers abandons the game even before it starts and gives you three offers that only you are aware of. Even after receiving the offer no one will get to know the deal you’ve done.

a. $480 to you and $480 to the stranger.

b. $540 to you and $ 280 to the stranger.

c. $ 480 to you and $ 80 to the stranger. 

Wh which option will you choose?

If you chose # 1, you are a Pro-Social. This puts you with the majority of people as 66%. This group is called as Homo reciprocans. If you chose # 2, then you are ‘Individualistic’. You focus on maximizing your money, like the homo economicus. Around 22% people fall in this group. If you chose # 3, you are ‘Competitive’. This is what homo rivals would be. Only 7% people fall in this category. Option 3 is spiteful because one has sacrifices 6k by not choosing option b.  Moreover the 3^rd option also forces the stranger to receive minimum amount in the deal. (Not convinced with the percentage figures given by the researchers)

 

Spite – Luck vs Talent

People are more likely to destroy other people’s money if the other person has earned more than them due to merit, as opposed to luck. Talent spreads more jealousy than luck and under cover of anonymity, it will get you spited.

 

An important component of food is tryptophan. This is an essential amino acid. Our body can’t make it on its own and has to rely on outside food. Without tryptophan we can’t make our one of the most important neurotransmitters called serotonin. Drop in serotonin levels indicate scarcity of food suggesting there is more competition for resource going on. So spite increases as competition increases and serotonin levels fall as competition increases.  Increase in spite is most likely due to fall in serotonin.

 

The research team found that reducing serotonin levels increased levels of brain activity in the region called Dorsal striatum when people were punishing others. This region of our brain lights up when we anticipate a reward. Reducing serotonin increases spite because it makes harming people pleasurable.

Serotonin is not only the neurochemical factor influencing levels of spite. In men Testosterone also influences spite. The higher levels of Testosterone are associated with higher levels of anger. 

 Spite in unhealthy relations:

Dying relationships seriously emits spite. Spouses may destroy their assets to keep their partners deprived of the Assets. Spouse will end up doing things that will keep her/him deprived of something, just to go against the partner. So in an unhealthy relationship if there is increase in spitefulness in you, it is natural though it can be controlled with mere consciousness. Although spite concentrates in certain people, research has found that on an average, Men are more spiteful than women and young are more spiteful than old. So in relations the parents should be aware of the spite in their kids before labelling them as Reckless or ungrateful. Similarly wives should empathize their husbands in verbal spats.

 Ferrari vs Lamborghini

The year 1958 was a good year for selling Tractors in Italy. As a result Furriccio, the head of Italian Tractor Company was not only able to buy a Ferrari for him, but also for his wife. In very less span of time he had burnt the clutch out of his Ferrari for the fourth time. He decided that he’ll get his in house Tractor mechanic to fix the clutch problem instead of sending it to Ferrari showroom. The mechanic was surprised to find that the clutch Ferrari used was identical to the clutch they used in their Tractors. Ferruccio was certainly unhappy to know this,  especially when he realized that he paid hundred times the money for the same clutch that too three times in a short span. Ferruccio went to conform Enzo Ferrari, the founder of the company that bore his name. They had a terrible verbal war. Enzo insulted Ferriccio saying “ You are a farmer. You should not complain driving my cars, because they are the best in the world.” It was then Furriccio decided to make his own sports car to show Enzo Ferrari how it should be done. This was a very risky decision and his wife repeatedly tried stopping him. But the spite was at its peak. Thankfully the spite that triggered ended the story on a positive note. Ultimately he and his company that bore his family surname was a huge success. Furriccio’s surname is Lambhorghini.

Spiteful acts continue even among business Titans. Warren Buffet, the riches person in the world in 1962 invested in Berkshire Hathway when it was a failing textile company. The company’s management was selling textile mills and using the proceeds to buy back shares. Buffet thought he could make profit by buying shares, waiting for the company to sell another mill, then selling the shares back to it. Its management asked Buffet the price at which he would sell his stocks at. Buffet promised to sell at $11.5. A few weeks later the management sent out a letter offering to buy stock but not at $11.5but at $11.38. This 1/8^th of a dollar difference was to prove an expensive mistake. It violated the moral code of Buffet. It made him mad. As a result Buffet purchased more stock, gained control and then fired the manager. Yet, by having his money tied up in Textile assets, Buffet was not able to invest it more profitably elsewhere. He estimates that over the long run his spiteful behavior cost him $200bn (yes it’s billion). As a result, Buffet now advises that whether you cut off your nose to spite your face or whatever, if you get into lousy business, get out of it.”

Counter dominant Spite:

In our society we have people who are not rich but they feel they deserve to be rich and hence envy the rich people in their contacts. Don’t they? Counter dominant side does not like to be left behind. It encourages a person to bring the other person down at the cost of personal discomforts or losses. This side of the person encourages to pull the rich or successful person down instead of elevating her or him up. This is counter dominant spite. In a case where our neighbor is a highly educated person with money a lot more than we have and we agree that money is a matter of success then it’s a tough situation to digest. If he ignores us often, then the spite in us will force us to gossip about his health disorders, drinking habits and many more. This is again counter dominant spite.

Mindsets of Spiteful people:

In some cases dominant spite can help you excel.

Researchers gave three minutes to add together the five two digit numbers, say 12, 17 , 28, 34 and 83. In stage I the participants were given this task of adding in a very casual way. In the stage II the same participants were told that they would get prize for winning the game. The study found that spiteful people did just as well as the non-spiteful people in the non-competitive stage I. But in the stage II when the things got more competitive, the spiteful people got improvement of around 100% compared to the result in stage I, whereas the non-spiteful people got an improvement of around 15%. However Balafouts and his colleges in the research found something very paradoxical. When given a chance to choose whether or not to compete with other group members, spiteful people were less likely to choose to compete. The observation was that although spiteful people are better at competing than the non-spiteful people they had less desire to compete. The reason is that the spiteful people hate being behind but loves being ahead. These people are happy to lose money if someone else loses more. This desire to be ahead helps them to excel yet the fear of falling behind keeps them away from opportunities.

Spite and Politics

Looking at American politics from outside, the 2016 presidential election seemed to be a punishment election. Most people voted, not to support a person but to hurt another person. The punishment was aimed at Hillary Clinton. The potential voter of Hillary would sit at home and save her time if it all the voter was unhappy with Clinton. But the voter preferred teaching a lesson by voting Trump even when the voter didn’t like Trump. The surveys found that one in three voters would be scared if Trump won. Out of these significant percent were Trump voters. Similar unexpected results were seen in the Lok Sabha elections in Maharashtra. That’s the reason anti-incumbency is a big factor all the time in Elections worldwide.

Spite and the Sacred

The crucial thing about sacred values is that their defense drives people to do things that go beyond the reasonable, regardless of risks or costs. The people with high sacred values don’t use too much of rational or practical justifications instead they follow their instincts. 9/11 is a classic example of spite where the Terrorist sacrificed his life to scare and warn Americans.

By understanding the fact that  spite which is so destructive that it can cause ailments like hypertensions and Heart disorders in the longer run, attempts need to be made to keep it away from getting triggered in us. Although it is automatic, mere realization of eruption of spite in us will reduce the intensity of it.

 

Disclaimer:

The book Spite by Simon is indeed very helpful book. To make it useful in an impactful way this summary is made where there are mixtures and replacements of my experiences.

 

Vinay Wagh